Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
