You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
