arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
