My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
