She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Help. Why am I so naked?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
