Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
