Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
