BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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