1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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