Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
