I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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