nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
