Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
