I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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