Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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