I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
