dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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