There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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