Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
