He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize