they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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