Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
