If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
