In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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