So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
