Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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