He kissed a someone with a penis
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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