Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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