Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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