Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
