Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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