He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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