I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
