She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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