my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
