if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
