i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he thought i was a dude.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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