somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
