I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
