The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
