i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
