she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
