Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
