I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
