Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
