i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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