i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
