Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
