I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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