I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
