I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Is it penis luge time yet?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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