I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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