Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
