hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
