see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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