I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
