i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
