just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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