my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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