Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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