____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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