laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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