I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
