i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
