i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
