Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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