I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
