was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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